自己満足とひとりきりの親密さを解き放つ：健全な人間関係と精神的健康への鍵 

Countless writers and prominent figures have espoused the concept of loving yourself. From Lucille Ball to Charles Bukowski to Carl Jung, loving and accepting yourself proved to be a powerful and often difficult feat. When considering self-love, it is impossible not to intertwine it with mental health because mental health struggles often pose a barrier to loving and accepting yourself fully. 

The way you love yourself can then impact the way you love others and the way they love you. Mental health is an important consideration within a relationship because it can affect the relationship—both on a personal level and interpersonally between the partners. However, mental health problems can be a chronic, lifetime struggle so it is important to understand the role mental health, self-confidence, and self-esteem play within a relationship and the influence it has on them. 

The Relationship Between Mental Health & Self-Esteem 

Self-esteem is something everyone—regardless of their mental health history—will struggle with at some point during their lives. It is normal to occasionally struggle with self-esteem. However, people with certain mental health problems may be more susceptible to self-esteem issues than those without.  

Low self-esteem is reported as a symptom of various mental health conditions: 

• Depression 
• Anxiety 
• Eating disorders 
• Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) 
• Substance abuse disorders 
• Certain phobias 

Self-esteem can also be affected by trauma in childhood and bullying. Teenagers with low self-esteem are more likely to take part in risky behaviors, including having sex earlier than their peers [source]. This can put them at a higher risk for domestic violence and sexually transmitted infections. 

In adults, those who enter relationships with low self-esteem have lower satisfaction rates over time and the relationships are less likely to last. In comparison, people who enter relationships with higher self-esteem tend to have more stable relationship satisfaction and more successful, lasting partnerships [source]. 

With that said, inflated self-esteem can also be detrimental to relationships and is associated with various mental health conditions, namely narcissistic personality disorder. People with inflated self-esteem may lack empathy for their partners or place themselves in risky situations.  

With a tie between mental health and self-esteem, taking care of your mental health is only beneficial for self-esteem and your relationship. A healthy self-esteem involves a good balance of confidence and acceptance of yourself while knowing and understanding your own flaws and limitations. 

Effects On Romantic Relationships 

Unhealthy self-esteem and lack of self-love can have negative effects on romantic relationships: 

• Feelings of stagnation 
• Lack of healthy boundaries 
• Communication issues 
• Feelings of shame or resentment 
• Co-dependency 
• People pleasing 
• Potential for aggression 
• General unhappiness in a relationship 
• Discomfort of being vulnerable with a partner 
• Reduced sex and intimacy 

Relationships where healthy self-esteem is the base will still have problems, but they are better equipped to deal with these conflicts in a productive and mutually satisfying way. 

Effects On Sexual Relationships 

The romantic and emotional side of the relationship is not the only aspect affected. Sex within relationships—whether casual sex with multiple partners or monogamous sex—it can be negatively impacted by self esteem issues: 

• Erectile dysfunction 
• Vaginismus 
• Pain during sex 
• Little to no discussion of sexual boundaries 
• Low sexual satisfaction 
• Higher risk of committing or having their partner commit infidelity 
• Inability to be vulnerable during sex 
• Fear or shame associated with sex or asserting wants, needs, or boundaries 
• Inability to take criticism or feedback associated with sexual performance 
• Pursuing unavailable people 
• Pushing ideal partners away 
• Inability to turn down or initiate sex 
• Lack of satisfying sexual exploration 
• Vulnerability to becoming a victim of sexual crimes 

Building Your Self-Esteem & Self Intimacy 

The best way to build self-esteem is to work on self-love, self-confidence, and self-intimacy. This can be a lifetime endeavor and something to work with a partner on. The better foundation you and your partner create for the relationship by working on yourselves, the better the long-term outlook and satisfaction. High, healthy self-esteem can also serve as a protective buffer against negativity. 

#1. Talk/Sex Therapy 

Talk therapy is one of the top recommended treatments for self-esteem issues. A therapist can help patients identify the causes of their self-esteem issues, heal from trauma, and help manage chronic mental health conditions. Other forms of therapy—in particular, sex therapy—can help sexual partners work on communication, set boundaries, and work through past trauma. 

 #2. Journal 

Some people find it helpful to journal as a way to maintain and improve self-esteem and self-confidence. Not only does it get thoughts and feelings out of their head, it also forces them to do a solitary, quiet activity which is beneficial for becoming comfortable with themselves. It can also work in combination with therapy. 

#3. Maintain Open Communication 

Learning to communicate effectively and confidently in a relationship is one of the best investments you can make in a relationship. Keep communication open between you and your partner(s). Whether it means taking time each week to discuss any issues or going to therapy, making decisions, solving conflicts, and growing as people. 

#4. Embrace Healthy Solitude & Separation 

When in a relationship—especially one where you live together—it is easy to fall into being with each other every second of the day. However, it is important for each partner to take time for themselves. This can serve as reflection time, time to do things they would not otherwise, or simply relaxation and recharging. But, alone time maintains individual identity which is vital for self-love. Learning to exist with and without your partner strengthens your relationship and your well-being. 

 #5. Masturbate (Mutual?) 

Learning to love yourself is not just an emotional and personal process, but also an intimate one. Knowing your body, what you like and don’t like, and making yourself orgasm are all powerful ways to physically love yourself and strengthen the emotional bond you feel with yourself and your partner. 

You can also take it a step further and try mutual masturbation with a partner. This involves each person pleasuring themself, but also gaining arousal from watching their partner masturbate. It is the perfect way to combine self-love with the love for your partner. An Erosscia vibrator works well for mutual masturbation and pleasuring your partner, no matter their preferences. 

Benefits Of High Self Esteem On An Intimate Relationship 

High and healthy self-esteem within a relationship offers a multitude of possible benefits to an intimate relationship: 

• Improved long-term outlook 
• Better sex 
• Fewer conflicts and miscommunication 
• Better problem-solving and resolution 
• Setting and respecting healthy boundaries 
• Improved communication 
• Increased relationship satisfaction 
• Less susceptible to toxicity, manipulation, and abuse 
• Each partner asserts their needs 

Love Yourself With Erosscia 

Mental health is only one component of maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. However, focusing on improving your personal health only benefits romantic and sexual relationships by creating a more positive, confident, and supportive environment. Additionally, it promotes better relationships and better sex. Erosscia aims to help everyone on their journey of exploring themselves and their partners with innovative and discreet sex toys. 

Erosscia makes toothbrush attachments that can act as a vibrator in your exploration of self-love and self-intimacy. With three different designs to fulfill all of your desires, each Erosscia vibrator is non-phallic, body safe, and ideal for insertion into both the vagina and anus. Explore your G-spot, give yourself mindblowing orgasms, and keep your body safe and healthy while you do it. Visit Erosscia’s online shop to explore their products and bundles to begin exploring and loving yourself.